Considering I like writing about what's going on in my life, I thought it'd be best to do that.
The title was really going to just be called friendships but it wouldn't hurt to add in the other two topics, so let's begin!
Not everyone has problems when it comes to friendships, in fact for most cases it's perfectly fine, obviously there's a few obstacles in the way, but everything is pretty much as perfect as it can get, especially in small groups.
But lately, okay not lately, I've noticed this for ages, people tend to become what would be called mean in primary school, but I guess once you mature up it's all 'bitchiness' and 'rude' and whatnot. I don't know if it's the same for the guys as it is for the girls because I'm not a guy, obviously. However what I do know is that girls can become what is known to be 'bitchy'. I don't normally use words like these on purpose so I really don't want you to think I'm that kind of person, I just thought it'd be best to use them so you'd get the crystal-clear idea but I think you would get it even if I didn't....sorry, going off topic again!
The reason I've noticed is mainly because of my friends. Now, I don't want to be those people that talk about their friends behind their backs, but some really don't seem to be my friends most of the time. Maybe you think I'm overreacting over something that isn't significant. I get it, when you ditch high school you'll meet new people, but I'm going to be with these guys for five more school years. (yes I'm rather young, but please don't let that cause you to click the red 'x' button.)
There are some things I get and I don't, really.
Like, why do some girls pick on their friends flaws as casually as talking about the weather?
And why do they get so irritated and defensive when their friend comments about one little thing they did wrong?
I don't know if it's because of the fact that they have low self-esteem so they must push others down to feel better about their flaws, and that they feel even worse on the inside when one small thing they had as a flaw, or even a small mistake they made. Because when I would point something out to them after they tell me about my mistake, it is treated as if I announced all your flaws to the whole world.
I just don't get it because I don't know if I've got it or not- is this a double standard thing girls (such as my friends) like to put on?
Because I honestly can tell you flat out, I really really don't like it.
There are so many problems I have, but I'll just point out a few that I find the most important:
- Getting treated like trash, your dog, or some secondhand
- Being excluded a lot
- Judged over the smallest things
- People talking behind my back
- Feeling so out of place due to the reasons above and others
I don't want to be treated like trash or that secondhand dusty toy you have stuffed in your closet. If you have a problem with me or a problem and decide to take it out on me, then I see no point of being your friend because I didn't sign up to be your punching bag.
The problem with some girls is that they don't do it obviously, they do it slyly and verbally so it's very hard for others to tell what's going on.
Like I've mentioned before I think, they'd comment about how you dress, act, look, and will point out your flaws. They can basically be your greatest friend or your worst enemy.
Exclusion. This tends to happen more often than any of the other problems listed above. I know some of my 'friends' will do this. Say they were linking arms with one person, they'd tell someone else to join them on their other side, so there they go marching around in a trio, whilst I or any other unlucky person shall just trail behind, because if we're going to the same place it's not like I'm going the longer way just to avoid those three. It could even be two people, just naturally ignoring most of what you say and the way they walk, making it a two person path instead of a three. What my main question is is that, well, there isn't something super bad about me, I'm not sick and I'm not someone you could feel embarrassed about (not because they are branded as a loser or anything like that). It's not that I'd care so much as to join them, but even if I did it would cause myself to look like a follower instead of a friend. I've been repeating this to myself in my head a lot especially in school, because it's mainly what I feel and I don't want to be that person. I'm not saying I am determined to lead, I'd just appreciate it if all my supposed friends were to actually treat me like an actual friend.
There is just so much writing here and I'm sorry (I need to stop apologizing) if I bored you, but considering this is my blog and I want to do this because I want to, I shall type as much as I want :)
It really sucks how everyone is judged on what they do, but you must admit this is natural and 99.9% would judge you on what their eyes showed them when they would first see you, but I just wish they wouldn't, especially when those people are your friends.
People talk behind their friends backs a bit too often. I guess it's rather natural, because you are prone to tell your friend something that you don't like about some other person, but what two things really irk me are when a friend is gossiping not-so-nice things about their other friend, but once this friend comes along, it's all 'hi' is the chirpiest tone they can muster.
I mean, if this was me, I'd rather you actually acted like you didn't like me or gave me subtle hints, I would prefer I knew than find out years later you were nothing but a fake friend.
And finally....I feel so out of place sometimes, it can really hurt at some points. At the end of the day I end up snapping at family members and stuff my face with food because food for me makes me feel better, and I do know stuffing tons of food into your mouth especially when you don't plan on doing anymore exercise is really bad and unhealthy, and I am working on it but I would rather become unhealthy for the day than to wallow in a dark hole feeling upset with myself.
Some of you guys might think that I'm just making a big deal out of a few petty issues, but when all these little things continuously add up, it can really suck a lot and create a very upset person.
My posts will definitely not be full of sad paragraphs, don't worry. Have a wonderful day/night!
Stacey xx.
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